


The Jensen/Jeffrey Llama Drama

by JJ1564



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpacas, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Baby Animals, Established Relationship, Fun, Llamas, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 21:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12466284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJ1564/pseuds/JJ1564
Summary: Jeffrey and Jensen are happy on their farm with their assortment of animals, so Jensen doesn't understand why Jeff wants to spoil it with freakin' nasty llamas.





	The Jensen/Jeffrey Llama Drama

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer/Warning: This is pure fiction, only Paxton appears as himself. There is some animal related ickiness.
> 
> Thanks to my Obi milly_gal for beta-ing.
> 
> Prompt: The pic of Jensen with JDM's little donkey, Paxton, plus a conversation between meus_venator, milly_gal and me on meus’s 'I Wish' LJ post!

 

It had been a dream of Jeff’s to have a farm for years; and not just any farm, but one where animals that had been abused and abandoned could find a safe, loving home. Jensen loved animals, too, but he would’ve been happy with a few dogs and perhaps a couple of rabbits. And some horses, of course– he was a Texan boy, after all. It also gave them both a much-needed respite from long hours of filming.

They’d been at the farm a few months, and had already acquired two horses, several cows, three pigs and two sheep, all of which would get to live out their lives on the Ackles-Morgan farm.

“I guess I’m not a natural farmer, Jeff,” Jensen had told him as he leaned on the fence looking at their cows, “because as much as I love steak, and bacon, I couldn’t bear to send any of our animals to the slaughterhouse,”

“That’s exactly how I feel,” Jeff had joined him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

“We ain’t gonna make a profit from this farm, are we?” Jensen smiled.

“Nah, that never was my intention,” Jeff leaned into him. “I just wanted to look after some animals, you know?”

“Yeah, darlin’, I know,” Jensen had replied. And he had to admit he was growing to love their animals, too.

When Jensen heard that a local petting farm was closing down and having to get rid of a pregnant donkey, and he’d put in the call. It was a wonderful surprise for Jeff’s fiftieth birthday. He was such a sap for cute baby animals, and he adored donkeys.

Jeff was delighted with Daisy, and even more delighted when she went into labour on the evening of his birthday and Paxton arrived in their lives. He was more like a puppy than a foal and was soon following Jeff everywhere – including into the house, much to Jensen’s annoyance and Jeff’s amusement.

_“If he shits on the floor, you’ll be the one cleaning it up, Mr Morgan!”_

_“Not a problem, Mr Ackles!”_

A couple of weeks later, they were sitting on their back porch watching a beautiful sunset, with Paxton asleep next to Jeff’s legs, and Jensen’s Yorkshire terrier, Max, asleep on his lap.

“Hey, honey,” Jeff began, and Jensen knew he was after something. “Have you heard about those llamas and alpacas...”

“No.” Jensen cut him off.

“What?”

“Nope. No. No way.”

“We have the space...” Jeff reasoned.

“Not llamas. Or alpacas, they’re probably just as bad.”

“What do you mean, just as bad? They’re great animals, friendly and cute.”

“Huh.”

“So...”

“No.”

“You’re being unreasonable, and it’s not like you,” Jeff continued, “they’ll be destroyed unless we take them in.”

“If they’re such great, friendly, cute animals, I’m sure someone else will have them.”

“What’s your problem with them?”

Jensen sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “I was on a school trip to a local farm when I was ten years old, and a fucking nasty llama spat right in my face...”

Jensen could see Jeff’s eyes crinkling as he bit his bottom lip to try to stop laughing.

“It’s not funny,” Jensen grumped, “it hit me right in the middle of my face, and some of it went into my mouth, I was almost sick...”

Jeff was laughing now, the kind of laugh that Jensen usually loved to see. Head thrown back, tears leaking out of his eyes, and his rich, deep chuckle emanating from his mouth.

“Fuck you, Morgan.” Jensen grumbled, picking Max up and stomping back into the house before he ended up joining in the laughter. It really wasn’t funny, not to him, but Jeff’s laughter was infectious.

Jeff came to find him in the kitchen, where he was angrily emptying the dishwasher as noisily as possible, and somehow managing not to break anything.

“Jensen, honey, I’m sorry,” Jeff crooned, coming up behind him and gently taking hold of his elbows. “Please don’t take It out on the plates.”

“Screw you,” Jensen retorted, “I hate you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Jeff whispered into his ear, his body warm as he leaned into Jensen.

“It was a traumatic experience,” Jensen sighed, trying not to give in too soon. “And you fucking laughed at me,”

“Not at you, honey,” Jeff drawled, kissing that little patch of sensitive skin below his earlobe that always made him shiver, “at the situation.”

Jensen decided to tease him. “The kids called me Spitboy for weeks after, and Llama Face.”

“That’s...awful,” Jeff managed to say, trying so hard not to laugh again that Jensen could feel his body trembling.

“We had to draw pictures of the llamas, and some kid drew me with a llama and a whole fountain of spit coming towards me...”

“Fuck...” Jeff moved away, and when Jensen turned around he was holding a hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking.

“Bastard,” Jensen growled but he couldn’t keep his mock-annoyance going. He started to laugh, too, which was all the permission Jeff needed to laugh longer and harder than before, until they were both crying.

When Jeff could manage to speak, wiping his eyes, he asked “Did that really happen?”

“Well, not the last part,” Jensen admitted. “I just wanted to make you feel bad, you monster.”

“It almost worked,” Jeff’s eyes twinkled. “But you were called Spitboy and Llama Face?”

“Yeah, that part’s true,” Jensen sighed. “And I get that it’s funny, but it was fucking disgusting, Jeff. I’m not having them here, okay?”

“Okay,” Jeff agreed.

Jensen thought their llama drama was over, and happily went with Jeff to look at some chickens at a farm the following week. Jeff led him to a barn and as soon as they got inside, Jensen knew he’d been hoodwinked, for there were no chickens, but there were several llamas and alpacas, and an extremely cute baby llama.

“No,” Jensen said, firmly, not even going past the barn door.

“But look at this little fella, he’s so cute,” Jeff coaxed, grabbing his hand and leading him over to the baby llama. “And he’d be a great friend for Paxton.”

“If you think I’m having a donkey and a filthy llama in the house, you’ve very much mistaken,”

“They won’t be allowed in the house – we’ll get a gate.” Jeff replied. “Please, honey, it’s just Leo and his mom that need a home. Oh, and the alpacas, but they don’t spit.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.” Jensen huffed, but couldn’t resist asking, “Leo?”

“After Leonardo DiCaprio, of course,”

“Could be Da Vinci.”

“That wouldn’t fit in with our movie star names theme.”

“So, you named him Leo?”

“Yep, he looked like a Leo.”

“And how many times have you been here?”

“Just once or twice...” Jeff looked sheepish, Jensen thought, no pun intended.

“Liar,” Jensen smiled, looking from Jeff to Leo, who was ridiculously cute, with huge brown eyes and long lashes. He was brown and white, with a white face except for his nose and one ear.

“He’s sweet, isn’t he?”

“Yep, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy visiting him here.”

“But...but he can’t stay here, they’re moving and downsizing, they can’t take ‘em...” Jeff panicked.

“You’re so easy,” Jensen grinned.

“You mean...”

“You can have Leo and his mom – and no, we’re not calling her Kate,”

“Wow, thanks, honey,” Jeff pulled him in for a kiss. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

“You have, but you can tell me as often as you like.” Jensen replied.

 

The day the llamas moved in was hectic. Somehow, they had ended up with Leo and his mom, the other four llamas and five alpacas. Jeff was a manipulative bastard. Luckily for him he was as sexy as fuck or Jensen would’ve said no to the whole lot of the spitting, nasty flock or was it a herd? They’d had a new barn built and a paddock fenced off for them. Jeff had hired two part-time farm hands to help out with them all, which meant that Jensen wouldn’t need to go too close to them. That was some consolation. But Jensen felt he should help with unloading them and settling them in.

Jensen was ready for their arrival, wearing his oldest baseball cap, sunglasses and a mask over his nose and mouth. He’d read up on llamas and the reasons they spat – usually because they were hungry or felt threatened. And he guessed being moved from one place to another would be enough to make them feel threatened. They were coming over in batches of two, with Leo and his mom arriving first. Jeff was with the farm hands, getting the llamas out of the truck and into the barn; Jensen arrived to see how they were getting on and to coo over Leo.

Jeff laughed so hard when he saw Jensen in his anti-spit gear. He had his head thrown back and his mouth wide open…

...just as Leo’s mom spat right in his face. Twice.

“She shoots, she scores!” Jensen cried out gleefully, laughing at the look of horror on Jeff’s face. The farm hands joined in with the laughter.

Jeff spat onto the floor and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He grinned at Jensen. “I guess I deserved that,”

“I have some spare face masks,” Jensen laughed.

“Looks like we might need ‘em, least until they’re all settled in,” Jeff agreed.

Once the animals were comfy in their new abode, Jeff and Jensen went to the house for lunch. As soon as they got through the door, Jeff grabbed Jensen and tried to kiss him.

“Ew, no way, Spitboy,” Jensen pushed him away, “not ‘til you’ve cleaned your teeth and gargled with mouthwash,”

“Fair enough, Llama Face.” Jeff grinned.


End file.
